Wednesday, December 19, 2007

the hangover

In a fit of optimism and unprecedented bravery (stupidity?) I started this blog last night. Then I woke up this morning with a wave of nausea and a headache and I realized that it was the “omigosh i’m all naked out in cyberworld” hangover. I was tempted to delete the thing and pretend it never happened, but then I checked another blog that I commented on yesterday and realized that this guy actually already saw my blog. What are the odds of that? Now I’ll look like a total chicken if I disappear. I suppose I could disappear anyway (I mean this guy doesn’t even know me) but here’s the kicker: I really think I’m supposed to write this thing. Not in the “thus sayeth the Lord” kind of way, but in the “this feels right” kind of way.

So, I’m pushing past the panic and nausea and writing anyway. In DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) we call this Opposite to Emotion. If I teach it I probably should practice it, right? *following my breath and surfing the urge to delete the blog*

15 comments:

  1. you have a great way with words terr... surf away my poet friend who has a body!!!

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  2. I love it Terri! Blogs were invented for introverts who get nauseated at vulnerability like you!!!!!!!!! Very Cool!

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  3. i blog, therefore i am...thanks you guys!

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  4. "I always feel like, somebody's watching me..." Remember that song? :)

    Glad you pushing through the nausea; soon enough you'll be telling the world about the time you imitated Tom Cruise in Risky Business by prancing around the house in your underwear.

    Maybe not.

    Anyway, welcome to life online. A little scary, a little weird, much fun. Enjoy.

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  5. tom!!!

    don't get creeped out, but I kind of feel like you're my cyber-brother. i've been following your blog for most of the last couple of months and I've gotten really fond of hearing about ian and silvi and annie and your take on life in general. In fact, you're a big reason I started this blog. I was reading your post last night and then I linked to some of your writer friends (bella and chloe) and got all inspired.

    so i guess i'm not sure yet whether to thank you or blame you. i'll keep you posted. :)

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  6. If your blog takes off and you become world famous, then I expect nothing less than half the cut.

    On the other hand, if you lose your job and end up living under a bridge, it'll be, "Terri who?"

    Appreciate the complement, and look forward to reading your own thoughts in the days ahead.

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  7. Good for you, Terri, for putting yourself out there! I get terribly nauseated by vulnerability too.

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  8. "introverts who get nauseated at vulnerability..."
    Julie I love it!!! it's true...

    Terri thank you for feeding my blog addiction...love you!

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  9. Now the whole world will be able to share with what I thought was only mine . . . my wife!
    Now that feels really weird. And I don't know if i like it. She's too good. (for me anyway. As they say in baseball "I'm batting way over my average")
    Oh alright I'll share. 'Tis the season. You go girl!

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  10. Man, I am feeling the love! Thanks everyone! I have a post brewing for later...stay tuned.

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  11. What a great blog. I love it that you are telling your story and sharing it here. People's stories are like beautiful paintings to me, and I receive them with humility and awe and thankfulness.

    I laughed at your "about". I also have a stressful combination of internal personality traits that I wouldn't recommend, because it is stressful. But, I also wouldn't trade for being any body else. It also leaves me feeling misunderstood and missed, which is a bummer, because understanding people is one of my core values in life, I think! I'm only just realizing that that is why it is so extra hard for me to feel misunderstood. And I'm thinking God is helping me let go of that as a demand, while still standing with open hands with the longing.

    I'm more of a logotherapy type person at heart, but I'm certainly glad your DBT approach kept you from deleting the blog :)

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  12. Hi Eclexia,

    Glad to have you here! I love Frankl's stuff...all the work on meaning. We incorporate a lot of that in DBT. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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  13. Terri,
    Saw your beautiful photo on Chloe's blog...and your eyes (or one eye!) just calls me...and here I am...reading your words...and I feel excited! to get to know you...

    Think creating a blog for your hubbie to get his photo - Fabulous! xx

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  14. Terri,
    Saw your beautiful photo on Chloe's blog...and your eyes (or one eye!) just calls me...and here I am...reading your words...and I feel excited! to get to know you...

    Think creating a blog for your hubbie to get his photo - Fabulous! xx

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  15. hi periwinkle: very cool that i have a new blogstalker from the united kingdom. i'm glad to have you here!

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