Thursday, January 10, 2008

Captain Trips

Hey, did anybody ever read the Stephen King novel called The Stand? It's about this showdown between good and evil that develops after a biologically engineered virus is unleashed that wipes out most of the population of the world. They name the virus Captain Trips.

I'm pretty sure I have it.

I keep trying to write my next installment but my lungs are acting like a couple of wet sandbags and my head feels like I stuffed it full of old newspaper. I'll probably be dead by morning. Speak well of me.


  1. Uhmmm, you're gonna have to stop being so optimistic :)

    Sounds like you've got the same thing Greg described in his last blog. Must be a Minnesota thing.

    Well, maybe not. I spoke to one of my sisters today, and she said she was having similar symptoms, minus the imminent doom part. Not that she didn't wish for it, but she's got identical twin boys that are just over a year old now, and well, they've been vehemently protesting her early demise. Seems that they want her to stick around a little longer.

    I have the sense that many people here want you to hang around a might longer as well (I picked that "might" part up from living in the the South y'all). So get better soon!

  2. You're quick; I'll give you that. You hit all 3 of my friends in a quickness. Thanks. I know they're gonna love you guys (thought I'd stop sayin y'all in order to retain some of my pure, midwestern upbringing).

    Clayton and Andrea saw The Color Purple tonight on Broadway. I know this was Clayton's first Broadway show; I'm not sure about Andrea. I was just excited (and a little jealous) that they got share a new experience. Rutgers people suck!

  3. Pretty girl, please don't DIE on account of trying to finish a new blog post for us!! Please, please, please go to bed and get rest, rest, rest.

    So sorry you're feeling miserable. I hate being sick. I do like, on the other hand, being able to lay in bed and just let my body rest when I'm that sick, though, because that's all I really want and can do when I'm in that place. I hope you feel a semblance of better in the morning.

    Nathan, you continue to be a source of continual enjoyment in my book. You make me laugh!

  4. Nathan: Greg and I got this stinking pestilence from the same husband! (He's a sweet guy but really much too generous with his mucus-surfing germs.)

    I'll probably survive, but Greg's a goner.

    And I enjoyed speed-blogging over at your friend's places. Totally jealous about seeing The Color Purple on Broadway! I just watched that on TV a couple of weeks ago. Are Clay and Andrea a couple?

    Christianne: Promise me you'll come to my funeral. And say what a great writer I was and how I inspired you and how your new mission in life is to publish my work posthumously and all that. Thanks.

  5. I was going to say "blame your husband" but you beat me to it!

  6. Have Terri and Jen stumbled upon a twisted little antidote to the fall?

  7. I only knew Terri for a short time, but I'll always remember her witty remarks on my blog, especially the-ones-that-were-strung-together.

    Terri had a great taste in movies... Run, Terri, Run.

    (feel better)

  8. No dying...not after I just found you...and not before you finish your story. I simply won't allow it!

    Feel better soon...being sick is so wretched! On the other hand, you can stay home and watch the Price is Right...but it's not as good with Drew Carey.

  9. bella: thanks!

    jen: thanks for backing up my epidemiological theory. it's more compelling and less bitter coming from a doctor.

    di: turnabout is fair play.

    tom: thanks for that really touching eulogy. i think i may live but you should keep working on it just in case.

    sarah: stop bossing me around. :)

  10. Why do the guys always have to be the fall guy. I blame it on Eve. She couldn't say "no" and now i'm ground zero for this recent outbreak? No fair !!

  11. Fer sure NDY. It seems that our Dave became the "agent of death" for Satan's attempt at the fulfillment of "not dead yet." Or, it was Satan's punishment of the band for actually having successfully pulled off the gig at the Dugout. Either way, all of the band members have been almost dead for the past week.

  12. Let me add my bossiness to the mix: you absolutely cannot die. Period. Okay? We need you to stay around & keep the witty banter and outrageous humor coming.

    P.S. I can see now that I'm going to need to quit my job. It is seriously cutting into my blogging time.

  13. Terri,

    It seem that regarding Greg's health, you've assigned him to the closed side of the future, rather than the open one. So much for possibilities :)

    I will make sure your works are published and will even write the forward, just make sure I am willed some (if not all) of the subsequent royalties. What can I say? Saving face can cost. But if you don't want that many good things said about you, then my fee diminishes (only slightly).

  14. So, basically you're saying that I get to be the one to manage your literary estate. Sweet. I've always carried this secret wish to do something like that for someone grand that I love and admire and respect and whose words I devour. Guess that would be you!

    But please don't die. My own job security is just not worth it.

  15. Hey Nathan, don't be bucking into my new job territory, man! I'll fight you for it. :)

  16. Terri,

    I almost forgot: Clayton & Andrea are not a couple -- although you'd be hard-pressed to figure that out based on the time they spend together. They are friends and both attend Rutgers University. Clayton is just 21 and Andrea is even younger. Don't you hate overachievers?

  17. Christianne,

    How bout we settle this in a political way, completely devoid of obfuscation and craftiness? I know, we can flip a coin. Heads I win; tails you lose. Sound good?

  18. Dave: oh, poor adam getting duped by wicked eve. *sarcastically rolling my eyes*

    Marcell: hi!

    Marcia and Greg: mezanmi! oui, mwen pa mouri, men mwen malad anpil!

    Oh, and NDY rocks!

    Kirsten: yes, my job has really been getting in my way lately. anyone wanna pay me gobs of money to blog?

    Nathan: you're funny! i think i would have to read your forward before i can make my final decision. will you say all kinds of fabulous things about me? tell everyone how unappreciated and brilliant and ahead of my time i was? ;)

    Christianne: neither of us knows how physically imposing nathan is in real life so i think we'd better not antagonize him. but confidentially (you don't think he'll read this do you?) i'll bequeath me entire vast literary estate to you. just don't let out any of my old diaries. (really terrible stuff in there...not so much the content but the AWFUL wordy tortured writing.)

    Nathan: i really do hate 21 year old overachievers. i despair if they get within 20 feet of me. and you are flippin' cracking me up!!!

  19. Big Brother is watching. Despite this duplicitous conspiracy, I will remain unmoved in my resolve to ensure your literary genius lives on. But I charge by the syllable, so if you want truly fabulous things said about you, you may want to consider a corresponding financial plan. And don’t be fooled for one second, Christianne is planning on charging too. She’s just waiting on you to be in an all-too-desperate and compromising position that will force you to accept her terms.

  20. Nathan, you are freaking hilarious!! Charging by the syllable.

    Where I come from, we charge by the letter.

    So ante up, Terri.

  21. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Now, Nathan, you know how I feel about the American democratic process. You really think I'm gonna agree to a freakin' coin toss for this one?? Think again, brother.

    Terri, I got your back, girl. That's because I have my own boxes worth of really old diaries and journals with embarrassing truths and oodles of posturing in them. I heart you and your literary estate.

    Kirsten, your charge-by-the-letter comment got a huge burst of laughter out of me. At 2:30 in the morning. Surrounded by the zen of candles and Joshua Radin on the stereo system. :)

  22. nathan: i'm pretty sure you're Little Brother since i'm 46 and i'm guessing you're somewhere in the neighborhood of 25, but the orwellian reference is not lost on me. :) also, you may want to sniff around somewhere else if you're looking to strike it rich off my writing...i'm not that good.

    kirsten: don't put ideas in nate's head. he's a shrewd businessman and i'm trying to devalue myself so he'll come down a little. i don't need you jacking up the prices on me. (you don't think he'll read this do you?)

    christianne: don't worry. i'm almost positive i'm going to survive, and like i told nathan i'm not that good so it wouldn't be worth that much anyway. (oh...don't read what i wrote to kirsten above.)

  23. I'll take my chances. What have I got to lose? It's not like I've got anything invested :)