I'm realizing that I don't know how to write the rest of my story. I'm not quite sure what's up, but I feel as though the story is telling itself in my body without the benefit of words. I'm back there somehow in those first days of leaving that church when I believed I would never be able to connect to another friend again. I'm even finding myself in first grade now and then. In the last few days I'm noticing that loneliness has settled into my chest like a virus squeezing out the space required to take a deep breath. I don't even have the energy to describe it well. I think I may have covered too much time and heartache in my story to really honor those places and I'm feeling exposed and disoriented. I'm sad in a deeply physical way, I'm sick.
So I'm reaching out for time and space from all of you. I know your generous hearts will give it gladly. Peace.