Friday, July 30, 2010

mwen gen pwoblem (i have a problem)

Just quickly wanted to let you all know that the internet is something of a beast here at Providence House. I had to turn off the ability to view images on my web browser. This means that if you post pics on your blog or facebook, I can't see them. And if you have a word verification feature on your blog, I can't leave a comment. (I tried the option of listening for the word, but I think they were speaking french.) Bug. But I wanted to let you know that I'm waiting and waiting for your blogs to load everyday so that I can read them. It helps me to feel connected. I'm with you, even when it seems like I'm not.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

lapli (rain)

It's late in the day, and the clouds are beginning to roll in the distance. The thunder is a rumble beneath the smothering heat. I'm torn because I know a storm will cool the air around me for a short time, but that's not all it will do. There are the tents. Miles and miles of blue tarp that can provide a little shelter from the sun, but not the rain. I can't stand to think of it.

I'd take the heat if I could, but the rain will come anyway. It doesn't care about the tents or the people living inside them.

Lord have mercy.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

mwen la

I'm here.

I'm seeing things and feeling things and smelling things and hearing things that my brain cannot really take in quite yet. It's like a flood pushing through a straw. I'm trying to stay open and absorb it, but my body is smarter than me and it's only giving me a teaspoon at a time.

I'll have more to say as it all unfolds and becomes more understandable to me. But for now it's enough that I'm here. And I'm writing. I wonder what I'll have to say?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

off to haiti soon

I've been really busy lately, so I've been unable to keep up with my online life. I won't go into everything that I've been doing, but I will share one thing that has been getting more and more of my attention theses days.

In a little over three weeks, I'll be leaving for Haiti. I'll be there for six weeks.

Yes, six weeks.

Although I've been to Haiti more than a dozen times over the years, I've never been there longer than two weeks. And I've never been away from Dave for longer than two weeks either. Marcia, one of my best friends, is leaving next Tuesday and she'll be spending nine weeks there. We'll both be returning home on Labor Day. Marcia and I are hoping this helps us to deepen our Kreyol skills and we'd like to help the girls learn more English as well. And as a side benefit, we hope to get to know them all on a deeper level.

I have to be honest and say that I'm a little anxious. Maybe occasionally I'm crazy anxious. I know I'm going to miss everyone more than I can even imagine. I'm leaving David with a lot of loose ends in terms of our housing situation which makes me sad and nervous and guilty. Also, Haiti is not the safest place in the world, and I worry about my health issues. My doctor is going to hook me up with a travel kit of anything-I-might-possibly-need, so that's kind of reassuring. But it's still Haiti, where anything can go wrong and usually does. The heat is also on my mind and the torrential rains. I even worry that the concrete ceiling and walls of the home have been weakened by the earthquake and rain and they'll collapse on us. I also worry about what I'll see and experience in Port au Prince and other places that have suffered heavily from the earthquake. When one of our friends who has spent a lot of time in Haiti since the quake heard that we were going she said, "It'll f*#& you up." I'm pretty sure she's right. These are the voices crashing around in my brain when I take the time to think about it and really give some space to my concerns. They're not all reasonable concerns (I'm pretty sure the house is not going to fall on my head) but they're pretty persistent voices.

And then there's those other voices.

When I listen to the deeper parts of my soul, I remember how my life somehow sorts itself out in Haiti. Things that seem important in my American life seem trivial there. Priorities shift. Life s-l-o-w-s d-o-w-n. Even when you're busy it's a different kind of busy-ness. There is time to think and pray and dream. There is time to sleep (if you can sleep with the heat and the bugs...oh wait, that's those other voices.) There is time to connect. I remember that Haiti is a place that God cares about and he has shared that caring with me. I love Haiti and I grieve for the brokenness she is suffering. I am glad to be going and to be listening for what God is asking of me there. It will be good. No matter how terrible, it will be good.

I hope you'll all be able to follow me and leave me comments. You can't imagine how word from a friend means everything in that place. I hope you'll come along with me in this way.