Thursday, October 27, 2011

contentment and acceptance

This is me in a very content place.

Something astounding is emerging for me as I've been feeling better and taking better care of myself. I hesitate to say it out loud. It's kind of scandalous, really.

I like me.

I don't know if you get how weird it is for me to say that. I have this idealized self that usually gets in the way of me liking the real me. The idealized me weighs about 30-40 pounds less. She's much wiser and more disciplined. Her house is perfect. She has already written that amazing book that's locked inside her because she never experiences writer's block. Her prayer times are completely consistent and wonderfully enlightening to others.

In other words, she's kind of irritating.

It's not that I wouldn't love for some of that to be true about me. But the truth is, that's not me right now. So I'm welcoming the me that is here in this moment. And you know what? I think Jesus likes me just fine exactly the way I am.

I hope if I'm ever closer to my idealized self I'll welcome her with just as much kindness.


  1. in the famous words of Billy Joel, i love you just the way you are...

  2. back at you baby. how did i luck out to have such a wonderful person to share my life with?

  3. Idealized people are never as much fun to be around as real human beings dontcha think? Perfect in our imperfection.... Open to the ambiguity and mysteries of life. Sounds incredibly healthy to me ;)

    Peace to you my sister, M

  4. I like that you are learning to like the Terri I like.

    Love you...

  5. maithri: i'm pretty sure the real you and the real me would have a blast together. :)

    marcia: i like that you like that i'm learning to like the terri that you like. :)

  6. you're lovely, t. it's good to see you so happy!

  7. you're lovely too sarah. really lovely.

  8. you are so very lovely. we like you!! it's so, so good to see you in a place like this -- feeling good about your life and yourself.

    love love,

  9. *blush* thanks kirsten and lori. :)