Friday, November 4, 2011

on growing old

I have to have a mammogram today. Every time I hear that word I think of the old Saturday Night Live skit "Land Shark" which probably dates me even more than the fact that I'm having a mammogram. (If you get that reference, you're probably going to be relating to the rest of this post too.) I'm at that stage of life where it's hard to keep track of all the vitamins and drugs I take. I'm considering picking up one of those medication organization boxes. In fact, it's hard to remember a lot of things these days. I'm not quite tottering yet, but I expect that's not too far down the road. I'm disciplining myself to not say "eh?" when I can't hear what someone just said to me. And sometimes I make little grunting noises when I get up from a cushy couch.

There's an awful lot about growing old that I don't like very much.

But there are other things that I love. I absolutely love that I have luminous little grandchildren laughing around me. I love that I'm growing more confident and less concerned with what people think about me. I love that I get to watch my grown sons becoming the kind of men that this world needs. I love the way my family is expanding and opening, making room for new loves. And I love that I have fewer illusions about living forever because that makes me more likely to be present and slurp up all the goodness in my life and give away as much goodness in return.

Maybe, just maybe, I've learned enough along the way to live and die with fewer regrets.


  1. Oh, Terri, you are so adorable. I love that image I now have in my mind of you tottering and saying "eh?" to everything the people around you say. :)

    I hope the procedure went well! I am so not looking forward to that experience in my future -- OUCH!

  2. i LOVE that i get to grow "old" w/ you. sharing all the things you wrote about in your post puts a big 'ol smile on my face!

  3. I've begun praying for a gentle spirit technician because one time, man, was she ever ticked about something! There are some things I miss about the younger days but I agree with you about the flip side of that much to love about it.

  4. Beautiful. Seems to me the post could just as easily be entitled... 'on growing'... Big love, M