Wednesday, December 14, 2011

on darkness

This photo was taken at 1:30 this afternoon. It's 4:30 now and nearly night. The last few days have been warm and dark. (Warm, for those of you who don't live in the tundra, is upper 30's.) I've been busy with Christmas preparations so that's a little distracting, but living in the dark creates a cumulative effect of heaviness in spirit. It's like a constant state of twilight and gloom. Our Christmas lights are glowing day and night to bring a little cheer, but I'm already dreading January and the inevitable drag on my heart.

In years past we always took a trip to a warm climate in the dead of winter, but for the past couple of years we couldn't afford it. So we hunker down and dream of the coming of spring and hope that the cold season is merciful. I'm searching for something warm inside of me, something that will last until April when the flowers start to push through the cold ground. I am lighting a fire to shine through my eyes. I'm searching for something that the darkness cannot penetrate.

Oh Holy Night.

Maybe I'll leave some of my lights up through the winter this year. It only takes one little point of brightness to chisel a hole in the gloom.


  1. i love the christmas lights! they do bring a certain amount of cheer. definitely a warm fuzzy.

    and to cheer you up even more, a week from friday the days will start, ever so slowly, getting longer!

  2. it sure looks pretty.

    i have upped the vit d tablets a little every day this week, once i see the white/grey sky that is out there.

    wishing some sunlight your way. let's get together soon and laugh. that will help. and tea. i still have your tea. ;)

  3. dave: how come it doesn't feel like it's getting lighter out until the end of february? at least i have the sunshine of your optimism. :)

    lori: i'm looking at times between christmas and new year to have you and nate over. maybe i'll have my grand babies over with your kids and we'll do a big dinner.