I've lost five pounds this week, but before you congratulate me on my amazing discipline I'll confess that I'm taking medication that makes the thought of food seem like the worst idea ever. Still, it's a nice start to something that really needs to happen in my life. I'll take it.
When I visited the doctor last week and stepped on the scale I was shocked (OK, not really that shocked) to find that I weigh more than I ever have in my entire life. It was more than a little disturbing and depressing to me. I can cut myself a tiny bit of slack because I've experienced a ton of illness in the last several years that involved long stretches of laying on the couch and comforting myself with chocolate. But it hasn't really done me any favors. Chocolate doesn't look all that great anymore when it turns into blobs of goo all over my body.
I've been on a little bit of a kick these days on Pinterest. I've been finding all of these DIY beauty ideas and all kinds of good ideas for food. For some reason I've been drawn to purchasing a lot more organic fruit and veggies and I feel compelled to take better care of myself. (This all occurred before the shocking doctor appointment revelation.) It feels good to be caring for myself in new ways. I'm thinking now that this was God preparing me to start on a new journey. God is merciful that way. He generally gives me a heads-up before he announces that he wants something new from me. I like that about him.
And how weird that God wants me to be well. I mean, he could have asked me to do all kinds of things, but the thing most on his heart for me was to be well. I'm terrible at that and always have been. So I suspect this will be an ongoing struggle. And I'm scared to death that I'm actually talking about this publicly. Generally when I take on something involving my own health I do it very privately and don't let anybody in on it because then if I fail I won't have to face public humiliation. The flip side of that is I don't get any public encouragement either.
I'm not going to be terribly rigid about this because I want these changes to be something I can sustain. I want to focus on healthier eating choices, smaller portions, daily yoga and three cardio opportunities a week. I'm hoping this will give me more energy, help me shed some of that weight, and will result in fewer incidents of illness. Wish me luck and blessings and feel free to ask me how I'm doing if you like. I'll be doing this for the rest of my life, but only one moment at a time. I'm inviting all of you along for the ride because I know you're lovely and wise and loving. I'll be needing all of that for a very long time.