Sunday, March 25, 2012

my body


I've lost five pounds this week, but before you congratulate me on my amazing discipline I'll confess that I'm taking medication that makes the thought of food seem like the worst idea ever. Still, it's a nice start to something that really needs to happen in my life. I'll take it. 

When I visited the doctor last week and stepped on the scale I was shocked (OK, not really that shocked) to find that I weigh more than I ever have in my entire life. It was more than a little disturbing and depressing to me. I can cut myself a tiny bit of slack because I've experienced a ton of illness in the last several years that involved long stretches of laying on the couch and comforting myself with chocolate. But it hasn't really done me any favors. Chocolate doesn't look all that great anymore when it turns into blobs of goo all over my body.

I've been on a little bit of a kick these days on Pinterest. I've been finding all of these DIY beauty ideas and all kinds of good ideas for food. For some reason I've been drawn to purchasing a lot more organic fruit and veggies and I feel compelled to take better care of myself. (This all occurred before the shocking doctor appointment revelation.) It feels good to be caring for myself in new ways. I'm thinking now that this was God preparing me to start on a new journey. God is merciful that way. He generally gives me a heads-up before he announces that he wants something new from me. I like that about him. 

And how weird that God wants me to be well. I mean, he could have asked me to do all kinds of things, but the thing most on his heart for me was to be well. I'm terrible at that and always have been. So I suspect this will be an ongoing struggle. And I'm scared to death that I'm actually talking about this publicly. Generally when I take on something involving my own health I do it very privately and don't let anybody in on it because then if I fail I won't have to face public humiliation. The flip side of that is I don't get any public encouragement either. 

I'm not going to be terribly rigid about this because I want these changes to be something I can sustain. I want to focus on healthier eating choices, smaller portions, daily yoga and three cardio opportunities a week. I'm hoping this will give me more energy, help me shed some of that weight, and will result in fewer incidents of illness. Wish me luck and blessings and feel free to ask me how I'm doing if you like. I'll be doing this for the rest of my life, but only one moment at a time. I'm inviting all of you along for the ride because I know you're lovely and wise and loving. I'll be needing all of that for a very long time.

9 comments:

  1. ah, Terri... I'm glad you're sharing this here. There is so much that feels deeply familiar to me in what you're describing, and I'm delighted to have another person to share this journey with.

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    1. I was thinking of you and Christianne when I was writing this post. It's amazing to me that God really is up to something much larger and more spacious when it seems like it's just about me. It's sweet to have such good company.

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  2. how exciting. feel free to share any of the good ideas for food/beauty that you try and particularly like!
    the last year and a half i've been changing my eating, moving, water habits and when you do think of it as a life change vs. a diet or deprivation in any way, it really does make a difference.
    lots of love and blessings your way. xo

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    1. i've got a lot of good ideas. maybe when we get together for coffee we can exchange things that are working for us. and yes, the idea of a diet or deprivation regimen is completely ineffective for me. I have to make changes that are do-able for life.

      it's good to have your company. i'm glad nate found you. :)

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    2. me too (that nate found me. vice versa.) :)

      yes, coffee! let's discuss these good ideas. xo

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  3. Terri
    I don't know if this comment thingie will post. The last one i posted, days ago, never made it. Your blog hates me. :(. Or maybe it is just my possessed laptop. I have nicknamed it Beelzebub....was something I said? It's so touchy.

    Anyway, you are taking care of yourself. Hooray for you. You go Terri. You are awesome. I am waving a pom pom for you. Actually, I am sitting in Panera Bread on the internet. I would look funny waving a pom pom shouting, "Go Terri. Go Terri." I might get escorted out by security. But I am smiling and shouting on the inside.

    Those grand baby photos are so adorable. Big blue eyes. So cute!

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    1. sorry my blog is giving you the business. technology kinda hates me so i don't really know what to do about it.

      thanks for the encouragement. it feels good and not completely overwhelming the way it has in the past.

      and yes, i gotta say that i agree with you. those grand babies are beautiful.

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  4. you are beautiful terri. love ya.

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